Post natal priorities, putting Mum first

This week, I delve into the topic of putting yourself first and the challenges many individuals, particularly women, face in prioritising their self-care and well-being with Charlotte Lawson.  Charlotte is a well-being coach, who specialises in helping people-pleasers shift their focus towards themselves, learning self-compassion, self-care and the art of making sustainable daily progress towards holistic wellbeing.

We start the conversation by reminding ourselves of the aeroplane safety instructions and the importance of putting on your oxygen mask before assisting others—an apt metaphor when it comes to prioritising self-care. This is at the heart of Charlotte’s mission to help people shift away from constant people-pleasing and towards making time for themselves.

Charlotte and I discuss the repeated struggle many of us face: finding time (and self-permission) for self-care amid the demands of a busy daily life. We speak about the common scenario of setting many ambitious health goals at the start of the year, only to find them abandoned by mid-February due to competing priorities.  Charlotte reinforces the need for a subtle yet essential shift in putting yourself first — acknowledging personal needs without disregarding others.

We suggest some simple, yet practical strategies for learning the art of self-care. Charlotte suggests setting designated appointments for self-care activities, treating them with the same importance as other commitments, and emphasising the value of having an accountability partner who can offer support and encouragement along the way. I suggest starting with only a few minutes and building up as it feels more comfortable and acceptable to take time for yourself.

Charlotte also suggests starting small by setting achievable goals, such as committing to just five minutes of exercise, and gradually increasing from there. She highlights the value of mindset and affirmations in staying motivated and making healthy choices consistently.

Between us, we explore the need to reframe exercise or activity not as a chore, but as an investment in long-term health and wellbeing. By asking ourselves questions about the importance, value and knock-on effects of self-care and visualising the positive ripple effects on overall well-being, we can start to overcome feelings of guilt or selfishness associated with putting ourselves high on the list.

Both Charlotte and I stress that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity as it allows us to show up as our best selves in all aspects of life, business, personal, family, and social. By embracing simple and sustainable daily progress through small yet meaningful changes, we can all cultivate a lifestyle that prioritises self-compassion, and holistic well-being.

We then discuss the importance of celebrating small achievements (especially the normally unnoticed ones!) and reframing negative thoughts around self-care, emphasising the importance of recognising and acknowledging progress to build confidence along the way. By focusing on the positive impact of doing something for us, both on us personally as well as on those around us, we can cultivate a mindset that values and prioritises self-care, knowing how it impacts our well-being.

So, to summarise, we show you the importance of putting our self-care high on our to-do lists and urge you all to put yourself first – even if it is only half an hour a week at first – and recognise the benefits we all gain on our path towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.