In this episode of “Creating Active Lives,” Sarah chats with Kirstie Groves about navigating toxic relationships and the impact they can have on engagement in physical activity. Kirstie, who specialises in helping women rebuild their lives after toxic relationships, offers invaluable insights into her journey of self-discovery and healing.
Kirstie’s story is one of resilience and transformation. From a young age, she found herself entangled in a toxic relationship that stifled her sense of self. Despite red flags, she remained in the relationship for over two decades, prioritising the illusion of stability for the sake of her son. It was only when her son confronted her about the unhealthy dynamics that Kirstie found the courage to break free.
Following the end of her marriage, Kirstie entered another toxic relationship, further eroding her self-esteem and sense of worth. It wasn’t until her partner callously admitted to using her as a crutch for his insecurities that Kirstie realised she deserved better. Through therapy and introspection, she embarked on a journey of self-reclamation, determined to rediscover her identity and pursue a life of fulfilment.
Sarah and Kirstie delve into the intricate link between toxic relationships and activity participation. Kirstie recounts how her partner’s disdain for physical activity not only hindered her pursuit of personal fitness goals but also served as a means of control. From sabotaging her training for the London Marathon to derailing her plans to join a netball team, Kirstie’s partner systematically undermined her confidence and autonomy.
Despite these obstacles, Kirstie found solace in communal activities such as joining a walking group and later a running club. These activities provided her with a supportive community and became catalysts for her personal growth and healing. By challenging herself to participate in charity events and setting new fitness goals, Kirstie felt back in control of her body and her life.
Sarah underscores the profound impact of physical activity on emotional well-being and social connection. She discusses the therapeutic nature of activities like walking and running as promoting physical health and fostering a sense of belonging and camaraderie which is so important after any negative relationship. Through Kirstie’s journey, they highlight the power of resilience, self-compassion, and community support in overcoming adversity and reclaiming one’s life. Kirstie commented “Those people know when you don’t go,” reminding us of the power of social connections to motivate and encourage consistent participation.
Sarah underscored the significance of structured commitments in maintaining momentum. “create it as an appointment… If you don’t go at 11, you’ve missed it,” she remarked, highlighting how scheduled activities provide a sense of purpose and routine, creating a vital structure for individuals navigating through challenging times.
The conversation also shed light on the powerful effects of physical activity on mental well-being. Kirstie shared her journey of overcoming trauma, revealing how engaging in activities like yoga helped her reconnect with her body and find inner peace. “Just finding out a group that interests you… get some endorphins going, get some feel-good going,” she advised, highlighting the simple yet profound impact of movement on one’s mood and outlook.
Sarah echoed Kirstie’s sentiments, talking about the holistic benefits of exercise on physical and emotional health. “We instinctively know that… we need to go outside and get some fresh air,” she noted, highlighting the intuitive understanding of the mind-body connection and the restorative power of nature.
The importance of self-compassion and exploration emerges as key themes with Kirstie encouraging listeners to be kind to themselves and to embrace new experiences, even if they fall outside their comfort zone. “Do it, but also be kind to yourself,” she advised, recognising the courage it takes to embark on a journey of rediscovery, self-discovery and healing.
Finally, Sarah and Kirstie emphasise the vital potential of embracing physical activity as a pathway to recovery. “It’s having that completely lived and learned as well,” Sarah reflected, acknowledging the profound impact of personal experiences on one’s ability to empathize and support others.
In summary, the conversation highlights the interconnectedness of physical, emotional, and social well-being, underscoring the power of movement and human connection in overcoming adversity and fostering resilience.
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